Decisions

Ah, well, it is that time of year again. Families love each other a little more, children hope a little more, individuals start to look towards the future a little more. As I look into my future, it's all unclear. I don't honestly know where I will be a year from today. The goal is to be liveing where I am, married to who I am married to, and a little baby at home. I of all people know just how unattainable this goal can be. With the loss of Will in April, I just don't know if we will ever bring a baby home. I am very hopeful that we will, but I'm scared to get my hopes up. We have made the decision to and delved into the adventure of creating another baby. Our rainbow baby. I'm not too scared though. I have faith that doctors will catch and treat any Pre- Ecclampsia that may or may not hit me, thus letting my baby stay in my womb and develop more that WIll was able to. I am also faithful that this next child will not get NEC like Will did. I can't live my life worrying about it. I have to jump in feet first, or face first even, and hope for the best.